No Place Like Home

(C) Kris Sanceja

It's May, which officially means that school is right around the corner here in the Philippines. Since I was in need for another blog post, perhaps it's time to reflect on my ADMU-UST experience this past year.

So when I was deciding on which University to attend, I was torn between these two. Ateneo because it's become my second home. I mean, after spending 12 years there, it was pretty hard to leave. UST was also up because I knew that if I wanted to be a doctor, this was the place to go. Like how some universities are known for producing specific professions, UST is known for producing doctors. Also, I felt it was time for a new beginning. At least if I went to UST, you could probably count on your hands (and maybe feet) the number of people who knew who you were. This was a chance for me to start fresh, where people didn't know you or what you did in the past.

Fast forward to the first few months of school. During the first few days of school, I felt like an outsider. Sure I was part of our facebook group before the year even began, but things were so different once we met in person. When I walked into the room, I kept this stern, straight face, which probably lead some of my blockmates to think that I was masungit or something (oddly enough, some of the other MC and AHS people got the same reaction, so it must be a Katipunan thing hehe). And it seems like those who were in the group before school didn't seem to recognize me. Back then, my profile picture was the "photo shoot" during graduation, so my hair was styled differently, and I wasn't wearing glasses. But once school started, I was wearing my glasses and i was semi-kal. I could hear people whispering around like, sino yun? or si Howee ata yun? and shit like that =))

Probably the entire semester, I dreaded being there. It was nothing against the school. I mean, the school was amazing, the people were really friendly, and I really felt like what I paid in my enrollment was being put to full use (for most of my classes anyway). I really felt like I was in a good university, and now I know why it's a part of the top 4. But for me, there was just something missing. Like there was this whole in my heart that wouldn't close, no matter what I did. Now, you might say that I might just be homesick for Ateneo, considering I was there for majority of my life (12 years to be exact). I was feeling like an immigrant in a foreign land. It didn't know anyone, I was in an entirely new culture. For the most part, sure, it was homesickness. But later on, it felt like homesickness to the next level. Again, there was something missing.

In between the first and second semester, i found time in my schedule to go back to the high school (I forget the reason). But for some reason, as I was roaming through those hallways, as I passed through the EDSA walk, it felt good to do so. I don't know why, but I was invigorated in a way. It felt like a brand new energy flowed through my entire body. This was the feeling I remembered when I was a student back in high school.

Once the second semester began, I started feeling better. I still missed my alma mater, but for some reason, I was actually fine being away from it. I think my body had already adjusted to my surrounding, to the new environment. As the months passed by, I learned to love and appreciate my school more than I ever did at the start of the year. By the end of the year, I knew I had made the right decision to transfer to UST.

Yesterday, I came back from the Ateneo. I went to the college area before lunch because I had an interview for the Biology Majors Alliance of the Philippines (BMAP) with the outgoing executive board, as well as some of the members of the board of directors. I met up with Galo to have lunch with him since he had to wait for Natya to finish her summer volleyball class. After a little trip around the college (we were near the JSEC, but we headed back to Xavier hall because I needed to withdraw money; we didn't know there was an ATM machine there), I was feeling a little nostalgic again. I haven't been there since the high school fair last January, and the college area was definitely unfamiliar to me because I'd only been there to submit application forms and have Jaz Reyes sign a contract for Avenida. I think I've finally gotten closure because as I roamed the campus, I didn't have that clingy feeling of wanting to transfer back. The only thing that was on my mind was how different my life would've been if I stayed.

No matter how long I leave, whenever I come back, I know I'm welcomed with open arms.

My home away from home.

Keep Dreaming.

Some people shouldn't be allowed to use technology

One thing that really pisses me off is when people claim to be upset on social media, like twitter or facebook, or even when they tell you personally that they're upset. Now, I find this particularly annoying because whenever I ask that person if something's wrong, they end up saying that they're fine or that yeah something's wrong but never expound. Here's an example of one of my conversations with a friend a few days ago:

Me: What's up? You okay?

Friend: Nope

Friend: :((

Me: What's up bro?

Friend: None bro :(

*end of conversation*

This pisses me of because I am the type of person who likes helping other people out. And this person I was talking happens to be a close friend of mine. This is irritating because this has happened so many times. You always let people know that something's wrong, yet when they try to help you out, you put up this barrier that prevents them from helping you out. Especially since it seems like you could use a little guidance here and there.

Another thing that irritates me is when people send in late replies on purpose. By this, I mean those who see the messages, yet refuse to reply immediately for whatever reasons they have. I can understand late replies if you saw it some time after I sent it to you, but if you see it immediately and don't reply, that's where I get pissed off. And to add to it, it gets even more rude when you see that person tweeting away especially if they use the same device for both texting AND tweeting. I mean, what's the point of replying to a message/text after 7-8++ hours, especially if the text was looking for an immediate response. I just think that it's rude and a waste of load, especially if there isn't an valid reason behind your late reply.

I honestly don't know what to do with this person. I think I'm just gonna lay low from my friend. If they miss me, they'll let me know. point blank.

Keep Dreaming.

Trusting your gut instinct

Everyone has this feeling right? When you need to make a decision, and you're torn between the choices. There's usually this voice telling you to pick a certain choice. Usually, there's a reason behind this and I don't think most people trust their gut instincts. Sometimes, the person would focus more on what others or society would demand from them, rather than what they personally feel would be the better choice. I just don't feel that people often listen to that "voice of reason", especially in a world where the youth's motto is YOLO (You Only Live Once).

So this reason for this post is something that happened to me recently. So tonight, just like any other night, I was just browsing the internet when I get this friend request from a stranger (let's name her "Lisa"). So Lisa adds me up on facebook, I'm automatically curious as to who she is. So I decided to check out her profile. The first thing I checked out was the about section. All I could find there was that she was from UST, so I presumed she was a batchmate of mine. Then I checked out her photos, which were mostly pics with friends as well as ads for ladies dorms around UST. So, after what I saw, i was still hesitant to add her since I didn't know who she was. There was this gut feeling I had not to accept, but I went ahead and did so anyway. This is where I should' ve listened to my gut.

When I accepted her, I prayed that I would avoid one of those conversations where they immediately message/chat you up and introduce themselves and shit. Well, turns out she did exactly that. She gave me her name and said that she was an alumnus of UST (both my course and med proper). Then she started spamming me up with adverts for ladies condos around UST (which I honestly don't understand, since I'm clearly not a woman). So once she did, I turned off my chat, but she still kept leaving messages in my inbox. Being as socially awkward as I am, I blocked her. I didn't know what to do, I just felt so afraid because I didn't know what to do and what her deal was.

Lesson learned. Always trust your gut, no matter what. That way, whether you succeed or fail, you only have yourself to congratulate or to blame.

Keep Dreaming.

With great age, comes ...

So I recently turned 19 a few weeks ago, and it's only really dawned on me on how much older I'm getting. Not only physically, but mentally as well. I've been feeling it for quite a while now, but now's the only time that I'm being open about this and exposing myself.

The other night we had a dinner party at my place to celebrate the graduation of my sisters. I stayed at the one of tables with my titos and titas and a few cousins, most of which were college/doctors. Our main conversation consisted of operations, diseases, dissection, and other medical jargon.

This situation isn't foreign to me. Now that I'm in college, some of the frequent topics of discussion is the lessons in biology class and lab, our future, diseases, medicine etc. The time has past when we'd plan what we'd be doing this weekend. Instead, we're planning on what we're doing 10+ years from now, once we finish med school, residency, the board exams etc. The time has past when we'd only talk about video games, girls, and food. Now, we're thinking about what medical schools we'd go to, when we're going to get married, and how many kids we want to have.

I honestly don't know if this has anything to do with my course, my school, or my choice of friends. Though I think I can rule out friends. I don't see any of my high school friends sharing in my predicament. I think I can also rule out school since I have some other friends in my school who aren't as burdened with the future as I am. I think it's because of my course, of the standards it sets, with the expectations people have of the students come from my course. The pressure that society puts on us practically forces us to grow up faster than we would like. I remember that when I was in high school, I would spend my nights playing tetris battle on facebook, having a movie/series marathon, or playing with my PS3 until the wee hours of the morning. But now that I'm in college, I NEED to study every night. Before in high school, when I did study, it would for about less than hour, an hour at max. But now, I need to study for multiple hours, until I memorize and understand the topics for our test.

I think that this entire thing comes with age. It's like with what they said in spider-man: "with great power, comes great responsibility." The older one gets, the more freedom he/she has to do whatever the fuck they want. But along with that, they have more responsibilities that they must fulfill, in exchange for their "freedom".

Anyways, I think that now that it's summer, I need to enjoy it as best I can because I'm at the point in my life where I am given the freedom to do as I wish, since I am legal. And since it is summer, it's the best time to go out and enjoy myself because I don't think I'd be able to once the school year begins anew.

Peace out!

Keep Dreaming.

Can't believe I survived second sem

I am so glad I was able to survive this sem. I'm thankful that all the hard work that I put in, especially during the finals period. I know I can still do better, and that's my goal for the next school year. I have to put in 2x the effort since I have BioSoc duties to balance with my academics now.

On a side note, I'm still shocked that the highest grade in my roster belongs to Track and Field HAHAHA

Keep Dreaming.

Happy Halloween!!

Happy Halloween!! I know my mom would've loved my costume.

Keep Dreaming.